“Fostering for us has become a real adventure”: Theresa's Story
Foster parent, Theresa, offers a glimpse into the adventurous life she’s built with her long term foster son.
Theresa and her husband Clive, who are both in their 60s, started their fostering journey in September 2018. Living in a rural village in Gloucestershire, and working as a teacher, Theresa decided that it was the right time to start her dream of wanting to foster.
“We've always wanted to foster. I have two children who are both adopted, I’m also a teacher, so looking after children is something I very much enjoy. We wanted to do something to put back into the community.”
Would we be good enough?
Despite being determined to help make a difference to children’s lives, the couple did initially have some reservations: “Our biggest worry was would we be good enough for a child? Would we be able to look after them well enough for a child that needed looking after to come and join us as a family?” They overcame their doubts and were approved as foster parents in August 2019, when their foster son *Matthew was immediately placed into their family. Matthew has thrived in the couple’s care and, over five years on, very much considers Theresa and Clive his parents.
A life well-lived
The family are avid thrill-seekers, and Theresa and Clive’s adventurous spirit, positivity and joy of life have completely transformed Matthew’s childhood, and set him on a path to a fulfilled and beautiful future.
“Fostering for us has become a real adventure. I think I've probably learned more through fostering than anything else I've done in my life. Every day is treated as an adventure and, even if it's a mundane day, we try to make it into something that's special and memorable. We've been on so many adventures. We went canyoning - I had to jump off an eight meter rock, which was quite challenging! We've been go karting, we've been hiking, we go abroad quite a bit - we've done many, many things.”
Even though the couple are now in their 60s, age is very much a number to them. Their age has never held them back from adventures and it, certainly, wasn’t going to hold them back from becoming foster parents: Theresa said “I think you can start fostering at any age. I don't think age is a barrier. It's more having the time and the desire to look after children than age.”
Our family is his family
Matthew is placed with the family long term, which means he will live with them until he is 18 years old and beyond. Long term foster care provides so much stability for young people, enabling them to fully settle and flourish in the life.
Theresa spoke of the benefits for Matthew being placed with them long term: “It means he's really become a part of the family. My mother treats him very much as a grandson. My children treat him very much as a brother - Although they no longer live at home, they come and visit him specifically and take him to do things and just enjoy spending time with him. So he's been able to be really integrated into the family, which I think has been very, very beneficial for him.”
Matthew will soon be entering his teens and, once he turns 18, he will remain with Theresa and Clive as a ‘Staying Put’ placement. Theresa said “To be honest, I don't actually ever see him leaving! As far as he's concerned, our home is his home, our family is his family.”
Life-changing support
It hasn’t always been an easy journey for Theresa and Clive but, with the full support of Fosterplus, they were able to overcome any challenges and, over the past five years, have succeeded in completely changing Matthew’s life. “The support we've received from Fosterplus has actually been quite incredible. We needed an awful lot of backup, and my goodness, we've had that. From daily phone calls, training - they were always there for us. We have two social workers, our son’s and ours, and we get on really well with both. We actually look forward to their visits very much indeed, because it’s like having a friend come to the house. And they provided a particular mentor to talk to us every week and give us advice and guidance. And, in fact, that mentor has grown very close to our family and is now one of our foster son's godparents.”
The difference that foster parents such as Theresa and Clive make to the lives of children is truly extraordinary. Without taking that first step and starting their journey to fostering, how different life could have looked for Matthew – and for the couple themselves. On reflection of the joy that fostering has brought to their lives and the difference it makes, Theresa added some advice to people who may be considering fostering:
“If someone were to ask me whether they should start fostering, I would say, make sure you've got the space in your life because the children do need help; they need time and they need to feel valued. You need to give them time and be able to move at their pace and just enjoy being with them. You have to have resilience and be able to stick with it and show the child that you won’t give up on them. My experience of fostering as a whole, it's been very enlightening. I've learned a great deal through it, it is very, very rewarding, and it has completely changed our lives.”
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