Fostering Teenagers around Christmas
Fostering a teenager at Christmas can bring questions and challenges, as it may stir difficult emotions for them. This guide offers practical tips to help you prepare and support teenagers during the festive season.
If you’re considering fostering a teenager, you may have many questions about how to approach significant events throughout the year, including Christmas. Christmas can be the most wonderful time of the year. But for teenagers who move into foster care around this time, it can stir up painful memories and emotions as they navigate being without their family during the festive season. In this article, we provide practical tips and advice to help you prepare for welcoming teenagers around Christmas.
Tips for fostering teenagers at Christmas
At Fosterplus, we receive referrals throughout the year, including the lead-up to and on Christmas day. This means that if you decide to foster a teenager in an emergency or on a short-term basis, you could be welcoming a child into your home during the festive season. When you offer these types of fostering, you may have little notice, so it’s vital to be prepared to ensure children feel included and comfortable during this time.
Prepare for their arrival
If you foster in an emergency, you could have less than 24 hours’ notice before your teenager arrives.
So, when you’re out Christmas shopping, it’s a good idea to buy a few gifts for teenagers of varying ages and different genders. This way, when it comes to unwrapping gifts on Christmas day, they’ll feel involved and part of the family celebrations.
It’s best to keep the presents low-key to avoid making your teenager feel uncomfortable. They may struggle to know how to react to an expensive gift and may feel embarrassed as they won’t have a present for you. Some websites offer hampers for teenage boys and girls that include stocking filler gifts like sweets, socks, self-care products and toiletries. You could also buy some Christmas cards and write their name on one when they arrive.
Christmas dinner is also a huge part of Christmas, but some teenagers may have never experienced it before, and the idea of trying new foods so soon after they arrive could be quite overwhelming. So, it’s a good idea to stock up on everyday food just in case you need to prepare a separate meal for them. If your teenager has experienced neglect, they may have a difficult relationship with food, so preparing in advance means you know you'll be able to meet their individual needs.
Keep decorations simple
It can be tempting to go all out on Christmas decorations, but for teenagers who arrive at your home during the festive season, it could make them feel a greater sense of loss about not being with their family at Christmas. It could also be overwhelming for teenagers who’ve never lived in a house decorated for Christmas.
So, keep it simple. If they arrive at the beginning of the season, you could talk to them about what they feel comfortable with and decorate the house together. By doing so, you’ll be showing them that you care about their feelings and that you want them to be involved because they are part of the family.
If they arrive later and you’ve already decorated your home, try keeping the Christmas cheer to one specific room, and avoid putting anything Christmas-related in their bedroom. You can always add some further decorations once you know how they feel about them.
Discuss their traditions
Many families have Christmas traditions, and when you foster teenagers, they may have been practising the same traditions since they were young. So, regardless of when they arrive, you can help them feel at home by discussing their traditions and making efforts to try and implement some of these into your Christmas plans. Sometimes, they may prefer not to honour their usual traditions, and you may need to change your typical festive routine to put them at ease.
If you foster a teenager short-term, they could still be living with you the following Christmas, so you could create new traditions together. Whether watching Christmas movies or drinking hot chocolate, these seemingly small experiences could help build new positive memories and a newfound love of the festive season.
Give them space
When your teenager arrives, let them settle in at their own pace by giving them space and letting them know you're there if they'd like to talk. Ensure that their bedroom is a tranquil place where they can go if they need time to be by themselves and process their feelings.
Some teenagers may feel guilty for enjoying festivities without their family, so remind them that you aren't here to replace their family, and making memories with you won't affect their family connections. You could also encourage them to write about their feelings in a journal or notepad if they don't yet feel able to share with you.
Whether it's the lead-up to Christmas or Christmas day, check in with your teenager regularly to ensure they feel safe and comfortable. Pay attention to what their behaviour tells you; for example, if you turn on a particular Christmas song and they become agitated, it may have triggered a difficult memory for them. Be curious and empathetic, offering reassurance and a listening ear whenever they need it.
If things get too much, a bit of fresh air and light exercise could help calm their thoughts and reduce anxiety.
Limit visitors to your home
Christmas is typically a time to catch up with friends and celebrate with the extended family. However, meeting even more new people could be really daunting for a teenager who has just moved into your home and is still adjusting to their new situation.
It could also make them feel like an outsider if they see you and your family interacting with a person you've known for years, and they may feel upset that they aren't able to see their extended family or friends.
Limiting visitors to your home during the Christmas period could help prevent your teenager from feeling left out and overwhelmed by new faces. If you do have guests, make sure your teenager feels safe and let them take the lead, only joining in conversations or activities if they want to.
Support for fostering teenagers
There are many reasons to foster a teenager, such as making a difference by providing a safe and stable home during the festive season where they can create new happy memories. Whether your teenager lives with you short-term or long-term, you’ll play a huge role in helping them navigate this critical chapter of their lives as they begin exploring independence and planning for their future.
At Fosterplus, we understand what it is like to foster a teenager, including the rewards and challenges of this essential role. That’s why we work hard to ensure we connect teenagers with the right foster parents and provide continuous support so that, as a foster parent, you feel empowered to provide the care they need.
Our tailored training will prepare you for every stage of your fostering journey, and our support for children will ensure teenagers thrive in their new homes. We help you build your support network by connecting you with other families who look after teenagers, through our support groups, days out and fundraising activities. If you have birth children, they'll also have opportunities to bond with other children who foster, because we want the whole family to feel supported.
If you’re ready to start fostering and want to learn more about fostering teenagers or the other types of fostering we offer here at Fosterplus, please get in touch. Together, we can provide more teenagers with the loving and stable homes they need around Christmas and beyond.
